Reporting Live: Trusted Source Alex

One of the pleasures (frustrations) of being a parent is talking with your child. The experience is generally fun, but it’s like pulling teeth to get my daughter to tell me what happened at school. She’s seven. She’s too young for this sort of thing.

So I tried another tactic the other day. I asked her to tell me one story about school, and promised I wouldn’t pester her for another one. She agreed, and then said, very matter-of-factly, “We had recess. I went to the monkey bars. I can now skip a bar.”

She’s been pretty excited about the monkey bars for the past couple of days.

She then added, “But I can’t go backwards anymore.”

“Oh no!” I said, genuinely, because she’d been pretty excited about figuring out how to go backwards on the monkeybars. “What happened?”

“I think it’s because of the cold.”

That, in case you’re wondering, is why it is fun to talk to your child. Her comment struck me as being out of left field, but I looked over at her, and she seemed pretty certain that the cold was affecting her monkey bar skillz. Who am I to disagree with her conclusion? We drove on.

At Target
Then she had the day off from school for Veteran’s Day, so I dragged her and Trusted Source Jack on a trip to Target. We were walking by the Christmas section, and she said, “Oh, hey, Dad! A white plastic Christmas tree. We should get one.”

At which point I went on my rant about fake trees (they’re awful) and white trees (they’re even worse) and explained that at no point in her life would I ever agree to even considering a white plastic tree decorating our home for Christmas. My rant took a couple of minutes.

At the end of which, she said, “Yeah Dad, I know. I was just trying to make you angry.”

Proof positive she’s a daughter of mine.

A Teenager To Be Circumcised, Maybe

There is a fight going on in Oregon between two parents over their 13-year-old’s penis. The father wants it circumcised; the mother does not. The details of the case are particularly distressing:

1. Dad recently converted, and decided that his son’s foreskin had to go as a result. Don’t ask me about the calculus involved in that decision, because I neither know it nor understand it.

2. Mom claims that the son is too afraid to say no to his father, even though he has privately explained that it is a procedure that he does not want.

3. Several religious organizations have stepped in on the behalf of the father to say that this is a circumcision that has to happen, because if it were prevented, the blow to individual religious liberty would be overwhelming.

4. These two parents have decided that the best place to have an argument over circumcision, and consequently, over their child’s penis, is in a courtroom in front of whoever walks in the court’s doors.

5. At no point in this case has the boy’s testimony been sought. Think about that.

Circumcision is bad enough when it is parents visiting the procedure upon their newborn infant. To insist that it occur to a 13-year-old boy in the throes of adolescence? The fact that the boy’s testimony hasn’t been sought is similarly mind-blowing. Is it being seriously suggested that his opinion simply doesn’t matter? That even if he does object to the procedure, his father’s desire to cut off his foreskin should win the day?

One of the stranger areas of individual liberty that rarely gets touched on are the rights of those under the age of 18. People tend to believe that children are the property of parents, and thus can be manipulated in almost any imaginable way. This is one of the reasons that so few abusive parents ever face anything bordering on legal retribution for their crimes. This case is another unfortunate illustration; some of the adults involved could obviously not care less about the child’s interest in this situation. This is a battle over “religious freedom” and not “individual liberty” in their eyes.

The problem of children is confusing in the extreme because there doesn’t seem to be an easy answer. We don’t want to allow children the right to run willy-nilly across the countryside, but at the same time, surely can’t believe that as parents we have the right to do almost whatever we want to them.

Obviously, I am against the father and his supporters on this case. He and they are so unbelievably wrong that it hurts the imagination. Yet, there is the very distinct possibility that he will win, and that his son’s penis will be circumcised without him ever getting a say-so in the procedure himself. And if that isn’t a blow to individual liberty, what in the hell is?

Update: This is exactly the sort of thing that I’m talking about. Although decades old, the assumption was that, because permission was given, the abuse of these children was acceptable. Children are not property.

Me, My Daughter, And Not Being A Stupid Parent

This is me and my daughter. We’d hiked down to a waterfall. We were being “cute.” I take her on these sorts of trips because we both like them and they’re memorable. And because they’re fun. There is a bit of danger involved - we have to walk down a steep hill, and then climb down some rocks. I wouldn’t take her if I thought the danger outweighed the potential for fun, but it never does. That’s how parenting works I think.

Meanwhile, Billy Ford isn’t so sure about the concept. He’s pissed because a flight he took showed scenes of graphic sex and naughty violence…or is it naughty sex and graphic violence? He objected to the scenes, ostensibly because kids might have been hurt by these images. He also is furious because individuals can actually order these “pornographic” shows for viewing on videoscreens. And oh the children! They might be exposed to sex, or violence, or worst, both.

Ignoring the fact that Billy Ford wasn’t actually with any children on the flight in question, why can’t these moral crusaders calm down and, y’know, actually let me do the parenting? She’s my daughter, and I’ll decide what I do or don’t want her to watch. That’s part of being a parent, part of being a person responsible for a child. I think that the Billy Fords of the world aren’t comfortable with those of us who have different calculus for our children than he has for his. And again, I’m not comfortable with parents raising their children Christian, but you don’t see me proposing laws to prevent it, or organizing boycotts to influence the decision makers.

My Daughter Has Bangs

My daughter got into the car this morning with bangs. This is new. The last time I saw her, her hair was much longer. But apparently, she decided that she wanted bangs and her mother allowed it.

I can howl in protest, but my daughter is getting older. I have always entrusted her to make her own decisions about what to wear, but now she seems to display a genuine style. She is concerned about her look, even if she isn’t old enough to know that it is called a “look.” These bangs of hers are evidence that she’s beginning to function more fully as a human being.

I am very excited to witness the decisions she makes, even if I am just as excited to have her stay the same age forever. Soon, I’ll be beyond uncool - I am now, but she doesn’t know it - and just being in the car with me will be torturous beyond belief. This is the nature of things.

Also, my daughter has asked me to make (another) mixed CD for her. I swear to you, she requested the following songs:

-”My Brain Is Hanging Upside Down,” by the Ramones.
-”Immigrant Song,” by Led Zeppelin.
-”Steve’s Hornpipe,” by Cracker.
-”Shockheaded Peter,” by the Tiger Lilies.
-”Where’s Your Head At?” by Basement Jaxx.
-”Zydeco Cha Cha,” by Clifton Chenier.

My daughter is unbelievable. I know that every parent believes this, but I am right. My daughter actually is unbelievable.