The Princessification of American Kids Continues

Parents apparently think that it is a good idea to buy their children cashmere clothing. I don’t know who these parents are mind you - but according to the article, they exist, and now in larger numbers than ever before. What’s happening to this country?

Why is a three year old being outfitted in cashmere anything? Kids need to be dressed in cheap shorts and t-shirts until they’re old enough to carry on conversations, and even then they only need one fancy outfit in their closets. Why shorts and t-shirts? Because kids should bombing around all over damnation, getting into trouble, scraping their knees, and getting dirty. Doing anything else just isn’t good for children.

As I read what I’ve written, I realize that I’m becoming completely unhinged. At this point, logic and sense are going out the window as my skin turns green and my shorts turn to purple. But what are parents thinking? Why do parents think its a good idea to deprive their children of childhood? And for Christ’s sake, what sort of adults are we going to end up with when these cashmered brats grow up?

At some point in America’s future, the parents who have been totally sissifying their kids will realize what horrible damage they’ve done. Or at least, I hope they will, because kids who wear cashmere just aren’t kids.

Meerkats Killed Because Parents Are Idiots

So parents took their kids to the zoo, and proceeded to lose track of them. One of them climbed over several barriers and stuck her hand into a meerkat exhibit. Feeling threatened, the meerkats bit the girl. Unfortunately for the meerkats, Minnesota state laws required euthanasia of animals if…

…an individual refuses rabies vaccination, a process involving “six painful shots.” This particular girl refused the shots, and then got her parents to back her. As a result, the meerkat family was put down.

I’m not going to judge the girl. Or her family. But I am going to say that not forcing your daughter to put up with the realities of her idiotic behavior is obscene. She should have been forced to watch the meerkats die, just to understand what it was, exactly, that her selfish decision resulted in. Today’s parents are such fucking suckers for their kids, so insistent that everything be done to protect their fragile little existences. As a result, the world’s less five cute meerkats, and plus one little girl who has just learned that she will always get her way.

Social Conservatives

As I’ve stated on numerous occaisons, I don’t like social conservatives. This is in part because they’re anti-markets - “Ban the sale of pornography, even if there is an enormous market for it!” - and in part because they hate America. I was reminded of this visceral hatred the other day when a woman I was at a bar with proudly declared her conservatism. I expressed skepticism, and asked her several questions concerning her beliefs.

“There’s such a thing as traditional values,” she explained, before asking me to stop talking about this because, “whenever I’m at a bar getting drunk, somebody asks me about this and it turns into a huge fight.”

Which I couldn’t believe. Who could doubt the socially conservative credentials of a woman getting bombed at a bar before 7:00 on a Tuesday night? Needless to say, I stopped asking my questions. But later, I was talking to a friend of mine about some choice movies I’d acquired recently at a yardsale: Women’s Penetentiary and Women’s Prison Massacre. I told him that these movies were largely excuses for people to put tits on film.

“What’s that Sam? Do you need some tits on film?” The social conservative turned toward me, saying seductively I guess, although I think more likely that she was a small person on her third big beer.

There’s something hypocritical about proclaiming to be a social conservative when it comes to other people’s actions. In other words, if you enjoy giving and getting blowjobs (or anal sex), don’t turn around and support sodomy laws. And if you enjoy getting bombed on a Tuesday afternoon? Don’t insist that you oppose the use of drugs; you clearly don’t object to the use of drugs. You object to the use of drugs that you don’t personally use. That’s a big difference.

And it isn’t that I’m angry, it’s just that there are an awful lot of socially conservatives who propose legally limiting everybody else’s behavior while continuing to go apeshit crazy themselves. That’s hypocritical at best, and downright unAmerican at worst.

You Know What? Hezbollah Should Stop Doing This Shit

Hey, you won’t often find me discussing George W. Bush in positive terms, but let’s face facts: Hezbollah should stop doing this shit. They’re a bunch of dirty terrorists with no legitimate beefs. And even if it was an organization with any legitimate complaints, launching rockets at a civilian population renders those complaints, coming from that organization, totally without merit. In other words, don’t complain about being oppressed when you’re specifically targeting women and children.

The liberals who can find it in their heart to support these jerkoffs boggle my imagination. Hezbollah, given half the chance, would kill the gays, burqa the women and make the lives of everybody it controlled totally miserable. Why that’s even up for debate is simply beyond me.

Countdown To Ignorance: 3…2…

Boy Scouts in Berkeley, California recently sued the Berkeley Marina, demanding that they be allowed to dock boats there for free, despite their attitude toward gays. Yesterday, the California Supreme Court slapped the Boy Scouts across the mouth, telling them that they can implicitly discriminate against gays by maintaining their relationships with the national Boy Scouts, or they can have their free docking priveleges at the marina, but they can’t have both.

Recently, we’ve seen columnists like Maggie Gallagher demanding special treatment for religious organizations who similarly discriminate against gays. Gallagher was defending the rights of religious organizations to refuse adoptive services to gay parents; the Boy Scouts maintains the right to refuse gays. Advocates for their continued special treatment maintain that organizations shouldn’t be forced into tolerating homosexuals.

What they’re ignoring is that nobody, anywhere, is forcing these organizations to stop discriminating. These organizations are simply being told that, if they believe so deeply in discriminating against gays, they should be willing to give up whatever governmental support they’d been receiving. And quite frankly, I’m not entirely sure what the problem is. This is just another example of individuals (and organizations) being held responsible for their actions. And there is no reason why the government should subsidize organizations that insist on treating individuals differently simply because they’re gay.

So quite frankly, the Sea Scouts in Berkeley, and that adoption service in Massachusetts, can go to hell. They ought to be willing to sacrifice to defend their ignorant beliefs, and there’s no reason why decent taxpayers ought to subsidize hatred.

Needless to say, you can rest assured that social conservatives won’t stand for this one bit…later today, I’ll link to the columns decrying the unfair treatment that these poor discriminators are receiving.

That Damned “Hallelujah”

Awhile ago, I proclaimed that the three greatest songs written about love included Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.” (Obviously my list is up for interpretation.)

I wrote that post after having a discussion about great love songs with some friends of mine, and after recounting the sad tale of a young woman I met who believed, genuinely, that Dave Matthews Band’s “Crash” is the greatest song ever written. (”Crash,” is the song which features Dave describing some lucky lady’s vagina as her “world,” which is…bold. It certainly takes boldness to reduce a woman to her vagina. What about her breasts Dave? Huh?) These friends of mine and I decided that we weren’t sure if “Hallelujah” was an uplifting song about love, a realistic song about love, a depressing song about love, or perhaps about something else altogether.

Thoughts? Please convince me of the song’s true meaning because I’m not smart enough to figure it out. Ageless Amy? Mean Amanda? Violence Loving Isaac?

Crazed Christians

What’s interesting about this article is that the author takes seriously the alleged controversy over vaccinating young girls against HPV. Of course, there is no real controversy against people who are decent human beings.

Amongst socially conservative Christians? Well, apparently’s there’s some controversy, what with the outside possibility that girls protected against horrible cancers might become more like to have sex. Of course that outside possibility has been disproven anywhere, so its only among the most regressive Christians does this offensive attitude still fester. Still, it’s telling that there were actually some Americans who opposed the use of a vaccination, an apparently 100 percent effective vaccination, because it might inadvertently lead some women toward sex. Fortunately, those Neandrathals lost; the forces of good, of logic, of goddamned common sense, prevailed.

No, No, Muslims Aren’t Crazy

In Europe, Muslim women who have had the audacity to have sex before marriage are now resorting to hymen repair, fake virginity “certificates,” and spilling hidden vials of blood in the attempt to prove virginity. Why would women in Europe, where women are more than vaginas to be covered in burqas, resort to such nonsense?

Because, to the families of these woman, and to the women they marry, virginity is an absolute expectation. Which isn’t to say that Islam has morphed into some sort of fucking insane religion, but instead to say that the families of women, and the men that they want to marry are fucking insane. The idea that women would have to fake their way into virginity is ridiculous, that women have to be ashamed of going out and experiencing the world.

I’d write more, but I’d rather that my house not be 9-11-ed. That wouldn’t be fun.

No More Flag-Burning?

What I deeply enjoy about the coming debate on flag-burning is just how fucking stupid it is. Is this genuinely a goddamned issue these days? Really? Really?

Our nation is a complicated place, with complicated problems that will take time and energy to even try to fix. Flag-burning isn’t one of those fucking problems; it’s a smokescreen set up by small-minded people who don’t understand the complexity of free speech. It might be trite to write it again, but if you can’t burn the flag in protest of our government, then every other form of political protest is thusly threatened. This issue is genuinely that simple.

Porn

One of the many things that I like about (Some) Christians is the nonstop insistence that your life is their business. For instance, in Indiana, porn shop customers are being outed on a website maintained by (Some) Christians who hate sex. As far as these Christians are concerned, your enjoyment of pornography troubles them deeply, and so they’ve dedicated considerable resources against this scourge. Child abuse on the other hand? In which children are in genuine danger? Well, Rob Patterson, the leader of this particular Christian group, just doesn’t have the time.