The Princessification of American Kids Continues

Parents apparently think that it is a good idea to buy their children cashmere clothing. I don’t know who these parents are mind you - but according to the article, they exist, and now in larger numbers than ever before. What’s happening to this country?

Why is a three year old being outfitted in cashmere anything? Kids need to be dressed in cheap shorts and t-shirts until they’re old enough to carry on conversations, and even then they only need one fancy outfit in their closets. Why shorts and t-shirts? Because kids should bombing around all over damnation, getting into trouble, scraping their knees, and getting dirty. Doing anything else just isn’t good for children.

As I read what I’ve written, I realize that I’m becoming completely unhinged. At this point, logic and sense are going out the window as my skin turns green and my shorts turn to purple. But what are parents thinking? Why do parents think its a good idea to deprive their children of childhood? And for Christ’s sake, what sort of adults are we going to end up with when these cashmered brats grow up?

At some point in America’s future, the parents who have been totally sissifying their kids will realize what horrible damage they’ve done. Or at least, I hope they will, because kids who wear cashmere just aren’t kids.