Social Conservatives

As I’ve stated on numerous occaisons, I don’t like social conservatives. This is in part because they’re anti-markets - “Ban the sale of pornography, even if there is an enormous market for it!” - and in part because they hate America. I was reminded of this visceral hatred the other day when a woman I was at a bar with proudly declared her conservatism. I expressed skepticism, and asked her several questions concerning her beliefs.

“There’s such a thing as traditional values,” she explained, before asking me to stop talking about this because, “whenever I’m at a bar getting drunk, somebody asks me about this and it turns into a huge fight.”

Which I couldn’t believe. Who could doubt the socially conservative credentials of a woman getting bombed at a bar before 7:00 on a Tuesday night? Needless to say, I stopped asking my questions. But later, I was talking to a friend of mine about some choice movies I’d acquired recently at a yardsale: Women’s Penetentiary and Women’s Prison Massacre. I told him that these movies were largely excuses for people to put tits on film.

“What’s that Sam? Do you need some tits on film?” The social conservative turned toward me, saying seductively I guess, although I think more likely that she was a small person on her third big beer.

There’s something hypocritical about proclaiming to be a social conservative when it comes to other people’s actions. In other words, if you enjoy giving and getting blowjobs (or anal sex), don’t turn around and support sodomy laws. And if you enjoy getting bombed on a Tuesday afternoon? Don’t insist that you oppose the use of drugs; you clearly don’t object to the use of drugs. You object to the use of drugs that you don’t personally use. That’s a big difference.

And it isn’t that I’m angry, it’s just that there are an awful lot of socially conservatives who propose legally limiting everybody else’s behavior while continuing to go apeshit crazy themselves. That’s hypocritical at best, and downright unAmerican at worst.