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Putting the #$% in Putting

It ought to the be the easiest. The distance you have to make the ball travel is the least of the shots you’ll hit. When you’re pull a five iron out of your bag, you’re probably trying to hit a shot more than 150 yards (450 feet!) toward a hole that is 4.5 inches across. Think of the complexity involved.

Meanwhile, when you’re putting, you probably have less than 40 feet to move a ball. You can pick the ball up, clean it off, and if you’ve thought ahead, you can draw a line on it that you can line up with your target when you put it back. The game is biased toward making the process of putting easier whenever possible…

…which is awfully nice of it, considering how remarkably complicated an activity it is. You can expect that as many as half of your strokes will occur on the putting green. It is an incredibly difficult thing to do. I have no solutions for you. I have only inclinations of things that might help, maybe.

Your first, and primary, responsibility is picking a target. Once that target is chosen, the goal is to do everything you can to get the ball to that target. This includes your routine, which will ideally make you feel comfortable to accomplish your task. The target will not always be the hole itself. Instead, it will be the place you feel that you need to hit the ball to make it go into the hole. On even subtle breaks, this will make the target something other than the hole. But after those two ideas – picking a target, and establishing a routine – I’m tapped. I’m not a particularly good putter.

Routine, Routine

It is tremendously difficult to play the game of golf when you can’t trust what you’re doing; it is equally difficult to trust what you’re doing when you’re playing the game of golf, because you’re seeing the results, and they’re likely not trending toward the good. Somehow, you have to develop the trust while enduring the bad.

One way to built trust is to be familiar with what you’re doing. For instance, although you might cut yourself from time to time, chances are you cut food the same way. Whatever your movements with the knife, you do them over and over and over. You cut onions, you cut carrots, you cut potatoes, you cut apples, and every time, you do the same things. That helps to build confidence and trust.

So to does doing the same thing when you swing. It can be different for different players of course. There isn’t a right routine. Rather, there is a routine out there that is most comfortable for you. I’d argue that the pursuit of simplicity – a complicated game requires simplicity whenever possible – suggests two routines for the swing: one for putting, one for swinging.

“But, chipping is different than flopping is different than fullshots, is different than…” Yes, yes, obviously. Having the same routine for everyshot doesn’t mean that you have to hit every shot the same. Rather, it means that your preparation for every shot occurs in the same for.

For example, before every putt, I do the following:

1. Look at the putt from behind.
2. Take two practice putts.
3. Address the ball, look at the line one more time.
4. Hit the putt.

This is applicable on good days and bad days. And there will be both. Routines won’t make the game’s highs and lows disappear. What the routine gives a player is a feeling of familiarity, the same as you feel when you’re chopping vegetable. The ability to say, “I’ve done this before, I’ll be okay,” is where confidence comes from.

Not Nicholas Cage’s The Wicker Man

Late at night, I managed to find The Wicker Man on television. I am referring here to the original version, not the recent American remake starring Nicholas Cage. I feel it necessary to observe this, because while the original is a classic, the newer version stars Nicholas Cage. I can repeat that if you’re confused as to my meaning.

The original version is classified as a horror film, which seems a bit inaccurate given the way the genre has played itself out ever since. Nobody gets slashed. Nobody gets hacked. Nobody gets eviscerated. Anybody approaching the film expecting that will come away disappointed at best. The film’s only violence occurs at the very end.

But the film is much more than its brilliant conclusion, in which the conclusion that you’ve slowly been forming over the course of the film is confirmed, but in a shocking, unexpected manner. Blah blah. That’s movie critic talk, if that.

The more interesting part of the film is its disdain for everybody involved. The police officer is representative of both religious and moral authority; he is a jerk, abusive, and so confident of his own rightness that he cannot bother to see the trouble he’s getting himself into. The island’s inhabitants, meanwhile, are close minded, doctrinaire, and frankly, fundamentalist in their own religious beliefs. There is also criticism reserved for seemingly idyllic communes (perhaps a more popular idea at the time of the film’s creation than these days). Nobody is spared; all are part of the rot.

The film’s creators don’t go much further than this. Never are we quite sure what their beef is with religion, Christian and otherwise. We just know that, quite clearly, they don’t like it, and that dislike extends to groups that claim a heavenly existence. The film’s classification as horror prevents it from being seen or considered beyond that context. But the creators bigger message cannot be ignored: religious authority of all sorts is problematic at best. It blinds its adherents, and its outcomes are horrifying.

We live in a world where the criticism of religion is almost always met with fierce blowback from followers. This is true in a relatively benign way in America. It is true far more seriously in other parts of the world. The film is a must watch, if not for its frightening aspects, then at least for its bizarre, and intense, social commentary.

Golf In America…Is Awful

The Golf Channel’s newest show is the promising Golf in America. It promises to cover the game’s outstanding stories, scouring the nation for the best of the game. There’s only one slight problem with the show so far: it’s unbelievably bad.

There are plenty of reasons for this, but the most obvious place to start are the shows “journalists” who are only called that out of tradition, and not because any of them ask any difficult questions of anybody they’re “covering.” Here there are, and if you’re thinking you’re not seeing any heavy hitters in that lineup, you’re correct. John Feinstein’s never said a critical word about anybody. Jim Gray, famous for his “aggressive” questioning of Pete Rose, manages what can at best be described as propaganda. (Even the controversial grilling of Rose was about protecting the sanctity of baseball, whatever the hell that means.) The others? Tilghman? Lerner? Walker? Stop wasting my time and yours.

The fundamental problem is that the show’s goal isn’t bringing the viewer compelling stories, but rather, its creating what can only be described as propaganda for the game. The stories in the the first two episodes have focused on: Justin Timberlake’s attempt to create a “green” golf course, four golfers who survived the Hudson River plane crash, Donald Trump’s ownership of golf courses, two child golfers in Canada (uh, guys, Golf in America), and the government bunker underneath the Greenbrier Hotel here in West Virginia. None of these stories are compelling, or even interesting, and they’re made even worse by reporters who don’t drive the story in interesting directions.

For example, does Jim Gray, famous for grilling his subjects, ask the overblown Trump about his willingness to calm his act down to get a major on one of his courses? Of course not. Does Scott Walker ask the father of two children if he worries that he’s driving his children too hard into the game? No, he only asks if he’d tolerate his children quitting. Does Todd Lewis bother to tell us why players would even consider quitting the game simply because they were in a plane wreck? Of course not, because to do so unravels the point of the story.

Sports journalism in general suffers from rampant fanboyism, the desire only to get as close to the action as possible. (See stories like this one about Mike Lupica at the U.S. Open). Telling a story that undermines the game and the pedestal it places itself upon is simply verboten for most sports journalists, and most certainly for those who participate on Golf in America.

It’s a definite miss, unless something radically changes. Like everything about it.

Poor, Poor Libertarians

The problem that libertarians really have isn’t the incredibly poor marketing of their ideas. Rather, it’s the rest of us, who rather than bow before each and every libertarian we come across, just keep on walking. So damn you. And you. And especially you!

If you happen to read the linked article above, you’ll be able to discern incredibly quickly the real problem that libertarians have – they can’t market their ideas without condescending to anybody who thinks differently. Some of the choicer highlights include…

Libertarians spend their lives accurately predicting the future effects of government policy.

Really? Ask conservatives and they’ll tell you the same thing. So will liberals. And communists. And fascists. Everybody says that they’ve accurately predicted the outcomes of government policy. Everybody. Welcome to the club.

If you add to that curse that she would be ridiculed, derided, and shunned for making her predictions, you have a pretty fair approximation of what it feels like to be a libertarian.

You’re only “ridiculed, derided, and shunned” because of how you act when making those predictions. See the entire rest of the article you wrote. You’re throwing an epic temper tantrum because everybody else doesn’t fawn over your every word. Grow up.

Being a libertarian means living with an almost unendurable level of frustration.

Oddly, dealing with libertarians means enduring an incredible level of frustration. For instance, for as much as many libertarians hate big government and taxation, they never seem interested in actually doing anything about it. They never want to move to places with less government (sunny Somalia, for example). They never want to be jailed for their beliefs. They never want to run attractive candidates for public office (and no, Cranky Ron Paul is not and was not an attractive candidate to anybody other than the people who were already nodding their head in agreement throughout this guy’s bemoan).

Nor do they ever want to forgo the public goods that they’re so angry about paying for. If you hate the roads so much, for example, don’t use them. If public transportation grinds your gears, walk. If you hate having to have a driver’s license, drive without one. Honestly though, you could at least do something other than wailing about the injustice of it all.

Similarly, you’d think libertarians could perhaps acknowledge, at least occasionally, that capitalism can also lead to problems. Something along the lines of what Churchhill said about democracy, “…democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.” But of course, such an acknowledgment is simply unthinkable.

I’ve made this argument before, and I’ll certainly make it again, but if Cokes were marketed like libertarianism is – “Drink a Coke, because we’re the best, and you suck if you don’t drink our product, and everybody who disagrees is a jerk, and wrong, and mean to us too.” – we’d never drink Coke, because we never would have heard about it, because it would have gone out of business about 12 days after the first factory opened. In other words: market your product better you morons. In other, other words, the world doesn’t owe you a parade, and you’re not going to get one just because you whine about how awesome you are.

Do something, anything, different, and maybe you’ll make headway. Writing emo posts about how verboten you are isn’t, and will never be, the key.

A Stupid Plan

In my infinite brilliance earlier this season, I “fixed” my swing, happily coming in the house to tell Bobbi that I’d figured out the problem, and that I was now ready to fix it. The problem, in this case, was that I was taking the club away on far to inside a path to be effective. I was delofting the club on the takeaway, and hitting shorter shots than I should have been.

“How far should you have been hitting it?” would be a reasonable question to now ask me.

“I don’t know. Just farther.” Would be my unsatisfactory response.

So I “fixed” my swing. I even figured out how to, finally, hit a draw, meaning I figured out how to turn the ball from right to left, as opposed to what I’ve done my entire life, which involved moving the ball left to right. In fact, I actually arrived at the 18th hole of a local course, a par 3 that required a shot to wrap around a tree, from right to left. I announced to my playing partner, “Hey, I’m going to draw this ball around the tree and right at the pin.” And wouldn’t you know it, I did.

Do you know what else I managed to accomplish? A badly damaged swing. My (stupid, foolish, shortsighted, immature, unnecessary) pursuit of slightly more distance and the ability to hit a draw left my golf swing both uncomfortable and producing middling to poor results.

“But Sam! Swing changes take time! You have to give your new swing time to settle in, time to develop, time to become the comfortable swing that you made your old swing.” You might now be observing. And this, technically speaking, is true. If you’re going to make a colossal change in your game – like going from a fade to a draw – you’re going to need to give that change time, both by accepting the short term poor results and on the practice range.

I’m bad at accepting poor results, and I have absolutely no time to practice. As a result, implementing a significant swing change was neither the advisable nor smart thing to do. So I’ve abandoned the foolish change. I’ll go back to my old swing, doing my best simply to minimize the inside takeaway move that was causing me problems, instead of trying to eliminate it altogether while likely exacerbating a problematic outside-in move.

Later: Hank Haney’s battle with the yips, and his inexplicable advice to Charles Barkley.

Confounding

Yesterday, I headed to the golf course with the family, the first time I’d had the chance to play golf with my daughter. I can report that she hit as well as could be expected for an eight-year-old. She also drove the golf cart, which she enjoyed greatly, leading her to ask me this morning when we could go back. Finally, she exhausted herself to the point that she napped for three hours after getting home. When told we’d only played half a round, she responded, “I’d probably be dead.”

But my game was a complete disappointment: 1 par, and 8 bogeys (or worse). Just confounding. I hit nothing well. The wedges were weak, every putt missed (although no three putts…), the drives were almost universally terrible. What few decent shots I did hit came as practice “second shots” – which are important to hit on a day when the score doesn’t really matter. Still, what the hell happened? I used to be able to play.

When I used to play more frequently, I always went through these struggles early in my season. My game would disappear for a few weeks before making a return when the confidence started to return. But that always involved regular play. I’m not getting anything close to regular opportunities to play anymore, and as a result, I suppose I have to seriously readjust my expectations. For the next few years, I’ll probably never be anything better than a mid-teens handicap. That’s distressing. It’s also the reality of things.

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

Golf is fantastically complicated. Even if you ignore the need for equipment that ideally fits you, the access to a golf course that will let you play, the time necessary to spend more than four hours out in the sun, the game itself is fantastically difficult. This is primarily because the act of taking a small white ball from from the tee to the bottom of the hole more than a hundred yards a way, and often hundreds of yards away, is hard. Very, very hard.

So why make that more complicated than it has to be? Earlier, I wrote about the basic advice “Head Down/Swing Slow.” That ought to be the goal of all players: the creation of a simple, repeating swing that gets the clubface to the ball at square.

I mention this again so quickly after first broaching the topic because tonight, we had a birthday party for my one-year-old son, and various family members showed up, including a man who caddies at a local resort golf course. He was talking about various shots you can hit around a green, including a sort of bump-and-run shot, and another in which you visualize yourself putting, but with a seven-iron. He was arguing that this was a good shot at a particular distance, which is, of course, untrue. There’s no good shot at a particular distance. There are good shots for particular situations.

Part of the game’s complexity involves recognizing those situations. But because the game requires of the player the need to recognize those situations, the execution of what comes next (the actual shot), should be as easy as possible. Which means you don’t want to to be thinking about your elbow position, or your weight shift, or your grip, or anything else. You want simplicity.

1. You can grip a club however is comfortable for you. Interlocking, overlap, or baseball. Grip it split or reverse if it makes you happy, comfortable, and effective.

2. Your goal is to get the clubface to the ball in the square position. It doesn’t matter how you do that. It doesn’t matter what your playing partners say about it. It doesn’t matter how you look doing it. It matters that the clubface arrives at the ball in the square position. You figure out a way to do that, and nothing else matters.

3. The easiest way to club the clubface to square is a slow swing with your eye on the ball, which is functioning as your target. You’ll read people write that PGA players don’t keep their eye on the ball, and that it is practically impossible to. You’re not a PGA player. Neither am I. We needn’t worry ourselves with what they’re doing. Instead, keep staring at the ball, and the spot underneath it when the ball is gone.

The game will always be complicated. It will always be necessary to made tough analysis and then use the information gathered to make decisions. After the decision is made though – by saying, perhaps, “I want to hit the ball high to that tucked pin…” – then the execution of that goal ought to be as uncomplicated as possible.

Really?

Apparently, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is upset that Barack Obama killed a fly while being interviewed on television. Why? Because all animals, even irritating little bastards who serve no useful purpose (nobody enjoys flies, nobody eats flies, nobody celebrates flies, etc.) deserve our love and respect. When you insist on commenting all the time on every issue that tangentially relates to your cause, nobody will take you seriously. That isn’t me talking; it’s Peter, from Peter and the Wolf.

Pitching Pitchmen

Hi, Billy Mays here…err, no, wait. That’s not accurate at all. Still, the trailer above hints at an incredible show, worth watching weekly, if only to try to glean the skill that it takes to really pitch a product.

It’s a skill that Malcolm Gladwell has tried to capture when discussing the dean of Pitchmen, Ron Popeil. The conclusion of his article, in which Popeil sells almost a million dollars worth of product during a live spot on QVC (far beyond the network’s expectations for the hour), displays the stunning cunning that it takes to really sell. Of course, we live in a world where the skills possessed by Popeil, Billy Mays, and Anthony Sullivan aren’t as valued as they once might have been. Now we have focus groups and researchers to do the jobs that pitchmen once excelled at. They get paid to figure out how to make me want to buy something, what words to use, where to advertise, how to price, etc…

…and yet, pitchmen like the two featured above still exist, primarily because they work. They, as might be said, move product. It isn’t an easy thing to do, convincing somebody to get out their wallet and give you money for a product that, quite frankly, might be completely useless. (As most products on television, especially those advertised in this way, seem to be.) But still, these men pitch, and tens of thousands of Americans proceed to order. These men possess an unreal level of ability.

Seeing masters at work, even in something as unseemly as pitching products, is fascinating stuff, because what they’re showing (by doing) is a lifetime of practice displayed for all to see.